1) Shave my head-- "But you could shave your head now, Reshanne, and nobody would stop you!" No, nobody would stop me (some might try), but I couldn't stop people from giving me apologetic glances for looking like a chemo patient, AND my head is weirdly-shaped, thus, poorly equipt for baldness.
2) Swear like a goddamn sailor-- If I weren't so concerned about people getting offended, people thinking poorly of me, or innocent children overhearing, I would spice up my language for every conversation. Whether it be the classic, "Pass the damn ham", or "I'm gonna go take a shit", I know if I didn't care at all I would be letting these beauties loose on a daily basis. How do I figure? I feel that I tend to swear quite often in my dreams. It's something I've noticed. And since dreams are uninhibiting, I guess swearing is something I'd like to do more often.
3) Run on all fours-- granted, I know this is completely ridiculous, but it looks like mountains of fun. Seriously, youtube it. I would run like a cheetah on the Sunny Lake trail. I'd work all kind of muscles nobody has worked for millions of years. All I need are some biker gloves and I'm set.
4) Make every day pajama day-- I really took school Pajama Day for granted. When do adults get to do this? What if I want to wear my checkered PJ pants and free Blind Side promo t-shirts EVERY DAY? Do you understand how uncomfortable women's clothing is? If I didn't feel like a rockstar every time I put on my Miracle bra and Delia's jeans, I'd go PJ every day.
5) Sing ALL the time-- I know, I know... "Reshanne, but you sing more than anyone I know!" I do. I do. But I am STILL not singing ALL the time, and if I didn't care at all, I'd be singing to customers at work, during job interviews, meeting new people, while fighting, or any other time I've deemed absolutely inappropriate to burst out into a heartfelt melody.
6) Talk like an urban black woman-- This includes "baby daddy" and "Uh-uh!" among other phrases, but mostly it's the accent that is appealing to me, as well as the phonetic absense of plurals and consonants, and letter-switching. I would offend every black person within an auditory radius, might get shot, and would be the source of embarrassment for every politically correct white person, too. But still, if I didn't care, I would pick it up.
7) Tell people the absolute truth whether they like it or not-- Er... I kind of already do this.
8) Scream at the top of my lungs-- It would be FUN, that's all. Sometimes I have a lot of noise built up in me, and I would like to be able to let it go in a socially unacceptable, but ultimately satisfying, way. That's one reason why I enjoy rollercoasters, but I can't always be on a rollercoaster. That isn't realistic. I would like to just be on the phone, or shelving books at work, or talking to my mom, and abruptly make the biggest yodel/George of the Jungle-call/Wilhelm shriek for no reason at all. You don't need a reason to scream. Sometimes it should just happen. I have a feeling there would be less war if people were allowed to scream in public. Or more war. Whichever.
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