1) Shave my head-- "But you could shave your head now, Reshanne, and nobody would stop you!" No, nobody would stop me (some might try), but I couldn't stop people from giving me apologetic glances for looking like a chemo patient, AND my head is weirdly-shaped, thus, poorly equipt for baldness.
2) Swear like a goddamn sailor-- If I weren't so concerned about people getting offended, people thinking poorly of me, or innocent children overhearing, I would spice up my language for every conversation. Whether it be the classic, "Pass the damn ham", or "I'm gonna go take a shit", I know if I didn't care at all I would be letting these beauties loose on a daily basis. How do I figure? I feel that I tend to swear quite often in my dreams. It's something I've noticed. And since dreams are uninhibiting, I guess swearing is something I'd like to do more often.
3) Run on all fours-- granted, I know this is completely ridiculous, but it looks like mountains of fun. Seriously, youtube it. I would run like a cheetah on the Sunny Lake trail. I'd work all kind of muscles nobody has worked for millions of years. All I need are some biker gloves and I'm set.
4) Make every day pajama day-- I really took school Pajama Day for granted. When do adults get to do this? What if I want to wear my checkered PJ pants and free Blind Side promo t-shirts EVERY DAY? Do you understand how uncomfortable women's clothing is? If I didn't feel like a rockstar every time I put on my Miracle bra and Delia's jeans, I'd go PJ every day.
5) Sing ALL the time-- I know, I know... "Reshanne, but you sing more than anyone I know!" I do. I do. But I am STILL not singing ALL the time, and if I didn't care at all, I'd be singing to customers at work, during job interviews, meeting new people, while fighting, or any other time I've deemed absolutely inappropriate to burst out into a heartfelt melody.
6) Talk like an urban black woman-- This includes "baby daddy" and "Uh-uh!" among other phrases, but mostly it's the accent that is appealing to me, as well as the phonetic absense of plurals and consonants, and letter-switching. I would offend every black person within an auditory radius, might get shot, and would be the source of embarrassment for every politically correct white person, too. But still, if I didn't care, I would pick it up.
7) Tell people the absolute truth whether they like it or not-- Er... I kind of already do this.
8) Scream at the top of my lungs-- It would be FUN, that's all. Sometimes I have a lot of noise built up in me, and I would like to be able to let it go in a socially unacceptable, but ultimately satisfying, way. That's one reason why I enjoy rollercoasters, but I can't always be on a rollercoaster. That isn't realistic. I would like to just be on the phone, or shelving books at work, or talking to my mom, and abruptly make the biggest yodel/George of the Jungle-call/Wilhelm shriek for no reason at all. You don't need a reason to scream. Sometimes it should just happen. I have a feeling there would be less war if people were allowed to scream in public. Or more war. Whichever.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Shelfari
I... have discovered Shelfari. It is amazing. I have over 380 books already listed and I've only been signed up for a day. Jesus. Christ.
...Yes, His book is on my list.
...Yes, His book is on my list.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
RPGs
Here is a loose transcript of the text conversation I had with a friend of mine today.
ME: We doin BSG tonight?
HIM: We en't, we're coming up with character profiles for a new feudal/medieval RPG
ME: Can I join?
HIM: No
ME: But I'm serious
HIM: No
OK let's stop the conversation here and rewind a bit with a little background information. BSG is short for Battlestar Galactica, so you KNOW I'm a nerd already. Transcript label HIM a.k.a. Devin, is a graduate student in biopsychology. He is long-legged and Italian and I guess if he were an animal he'd have to be a mountain lion [edit: koala]. He hangs around rats all day in a brightly-lit laboratory hidden in plain sight behind locked, unmarked doors. He loves full-season disc sets and Mexican food when the time is right, and has a place in his heart where he likes to belt out the music to Les Miserables. He also enjoys playing RPGs, from which I am forever exiled, and here's why:
After Devin meticulously explained the process of an RPG to me one evening, I proclaimed that I was ready to take on a new creative challenge and that I would like to join a Firefly-based roleplaying game, seeing as I had watched and loved the show, and I was familiar with the Verse. He invited me over to his house one day and his roommate offered to show me some character sheets he had been working on for the game. I eagerly asked to see his handiwork, not knowing what a character sheet was exactly, and he thrust into my hands a huge stack of decorously laminated papers.
I flipped through page after page of lists of character traits, professions and hobbies, everything color coded and dynamically presented.
"How long did this take you?" I asked.
"Hours." The roommate shrugged.
I chuckled a little bit, chuckled a bit more, felt a good laugh rising up in me with no real explanation for it (I read that people laugh sometimes when it's not appropriate because it is a defense mechanism-- your body wants to think the experience is a joke). I flipped to the last page, which was different from the others, thicker because it folded up into quarters. With trembling fingers I opened one side and then another, until finally exposed before me in all its geeky glory was a huge (COLORED) map of the Firefly universe, complete with miniscule labels on every planet and planetary system.
I guffawed, I put the map down, I picked it back up, I stared at it for a very long time, I laughed, I rifted through the character sheets again, I cracked up and couldn't stop for an embarrassingly long time. And the whole time this was happening, Devin and his roommate exchanged glances that were hard to read, perhaps they were fearful, perhaps uneasy. Come to think of it, they were probably looks of souls being crushed. I crushed their souls because I couldn't contain myself. And in my defense, I wasn't laughing to mock-- REALLY-- I was just CAUGHT OFF GUARD...
At any rate, I was never again invited to take part in any roleplaying game, whether it be the planning stages or an actual RP. I still can't stop myself from chuckling every time his gang starts up about their newest fantasy adventure; however, Devin has taken to giving me wry, apologetic smiles every time we make eye contact on these occasions.
As a side note, I do have a goal to participate in a LARP, which is a Live Action Roleplaying game. If I find one cheap, I will do it, and I'll document everything that goes down right here. In the meantime, I will continue to wait in anticipation for the day I can prove myself, as I wait, invulnerable to all rejection, until I can finally be accepted in the world of RPGs.
ME: We doin BSG tonight?
HIM: We en't, we're coming up with character profiles for a new feudal/medieval RPG
ME: Can I join?
HIM: No
ME: But I'm serious
HIM: No
OK let's stop the conversation here and rewind a bit with a little background information. BSG is short for Battlestar Galactica, so you KNOW I'm a nerd already. Transcript label HIM a.k.a. Devin, is a graduate student in biopsychology. He is long-legged and Italian and I guess if he were an animal he'd have to be a mountain lion [edit: koala]. He hangs around rats all day in a brightly-lit laboratory hidden in plain sight behind locked, unmarked doors. He loves full-season disc sets and Mexican food when the time is right, and has a place in his heart where he likes to belt out the music to Les Miserables. He also enjoys playing RPGs, from which I am forever exiled, and here's why:
After Devin meticulously explained the process of an RPG to me one evening, I proclaimed that I was ready to take on a new creative challenge and that I would like to join a Firefly-based roleplaying game, seeing as I had watched and loved the show, and I was familiar with the Verse. He invited me over to his house one day and his roommate offered to show me some character sheets he had been working on for the game. I eagerly asked to see his handiwork, not knowing what a character sheet was exactly, and he thrust into my hands a huge stack of decorously laminated papers.
I flipped through page after page of lists of character traits, professions and hobbies, everything color coded and dynamically presented.
"How long did this take you?" I asked.
"Hours." The roommate shrugged.
I chuckled a little bit, chuckled a bit more, felt a good laugh rising up in me with no real explanation for it (I read that people laugh sometimes when it's not appropriate because it is a defense mechanism-- your body wants to think the experience is a joke). I flipped to the last page, which was different from the others, thicker because it folded up into quarters. With trembling fingers I opened one side and then another, until finally exposed before me in all its geeky glory was a huge (COLORED) map of the Firefly universe, complete with miniscule labels on every planet and planetary system.
I guffawed, I put the map down, I picked it back up, I stared at it for a very long time, I laughed, I rifted through the character sheets again, I cracked up and couldn't stop for an embarrassingly long time. And the whole time this was happening, Devin and his roommate exchanged glances that were hard to read, perhaps they were fearful, perhaps uneasy. Come to think of it, they were probably looks of souls being crushed. I crushed their souls because I couldn't contain myself. And in my defense, I wasn't laughing to mock-- REALLY-- I was just CAUGHT OFF GUARD...
At any rate, I was never again invited to take part in any roleplaying game, whether it be the planning stages or an actual RP. I still can't stop myself from chuckling every time his gang starts up about their newest fantasy adventure; however, Devin has taken to giving me wry, apologetic smiles every time we make eye contact on these occasions.
As a side note, I do have a goal to participate in a LARP, which is a Live Action Roleplaying game. If I find one cheap, I will do it, and I'll document everything that goes down right here. In the meantime, I will continue to wait in anticipation for the day I can prove myself, as I wait, invulnerable to all rejection, until I can finally be accepted in the world of RPGs.
Customers
I was casually chatting with a friend of mine at work when a woman approached with that needy look in her eye that a customer will get when they feel they must interrupt your conversation even if they have nothing to say.
"Excuse me!" the woman smeetered [smeeter = using a strained, high-pitched vocalization].
Laura and I turned to face a short, stubby woman in bug-eye glasses.
"Is this a DVD?" she asked, indicating a CD she clasped in her sweaty mit.
"No," Laura said. "It's a CD."
THE END
"Excuse me!" the woman smeetered [smeeter = using a strained, high-pitched vocalization].
Laura and I turned to face a short, stubby woman in bug-eye glasses.
"Is this a DVD?" she asked, indicating a CD she clasped in her sweaty mit.
"No," Laura said. "It's a CD."
THE END
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Daily Coyote
http://www.amazon.com/Daily-Coyote-Story-Survival-Wyoming/dp/B003JTHSFO/ref=pd_sim_b_7
The Daily Coyote is about a girl who was driving cross country on a Vespa, but when she passed through Wyoming, she decided to up and live there. A coyote is involved. Also, a cat.
The Daily Coyote is about a girl who was driving cross country on a Vespa, but when she passed through Wyoming, she decided to up and live there. A coyote is involved. Also, a cat.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
New Book
I was just recommended this book on Zen living, "Instructions to the Cook":
http://www.amazon.com/Instructions-Cook-Masters-Lessons-Matters/dp/0517888297
http://www.amazon.com/Instructions-Cook-Masters-Lessons-Matters/dp/0517888297
Friday, July 16, 2010
Dominion
I realized last night while I was driving home from work, that I really didn't know what the word "dominion" meant. I mean, I always thought I knew, like it had something to do with the word "dominate", or "domain", maybe a dominant domain. But when it came down to it, I couldn't place a definition. I had a phantom definition, and the word "dominion" in my mind was in tall Monty Python letters and that was it.
Turns out, I was kind of right. Here is the definition from dictionary.com:
do·min·ion /dəˈmɪnyən/ Show Spelled[duh-min-yuhn] Show IPA
–noun
1. the power or right of governing and controlling; sovereign authority.
2. rule; control; domination.
3. a territory, usually of considerable size, in which a single rulership holds sway.
4. lands or domains subject to sovereignty or control.
5. Government . a territory constituting a self-governing commonwealth and being one of a number of such territories united in a community of nations, or empire: formerly applied to self-governing divisions of the British Empire, as Canada and New Zealand.
6. dominions, Theology . domination ( def. 3 ) .
Turns out, I was kind of right. Here is the definition from dictionary.com:
do·min·ion /dəˈmɪnyən/ Show Spelled[duh-min-yuhn] Show IPA
–noun
1. the power or right of governing and controlling; sovereign authority.
2. rule; control; domination.
3. a territory, usually of considerable size, in which a single rulership holds sway.
4. lands or domains subject to sovereignty or control.
5. Government . a territory constituting a self-governing commonwealth and being one of a number of such territories united in a community of nations, or empire: formerly applied to self-governing divisions of the British Empire, as Canada and New Zealand.
6. dominions, Theology . domination ( def. 3 ) .
Books
I finished "The Maltese Falcon" by Dashiell Hammett for book club. Excellent 1920s detective story, full of sexism and snarky remarks and muhr-duhrrr. I would like to read "The Thin Man" by the same author for next week.
http://www.amazon.com/Maltese-Falcon-Dashiell-Hammett/dp/0679722645/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279296589&sr=1-1
I ran at home last night, no clean running clothes so I bet you know what that means. Also, I look smashing.
Obi's been vying for my attention since he's been inside, which has been about 5 days this time. Sitting in my lap presently.
Woo! Book club today!
http://www.amazon.com/Maltese-Falcon-Dashiell-Hammett/dp/0679722645/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279296589&sr=1-1
I ran at home last night, no clean running clothes so I bet you know what that means. Also, I look smashing.
Obi's been vying for my attention since he's been inside, which has been about 5 days this time. Sitting in my lap presently.
Woo! Book club today!
Monday, July 12, 2010
It's Raining
Last night I had a dream that I drove to an aunt or uncle's house in the middle of the country, quietly made my way to a loft made of dark wood and fell asleep until the next morning. I wondered if anybody would realize I had left home.
Not too long after that, I had another dream that I had the spirit of a hawk in me. I (and other birdlike people) were trapped together in a sort of nature preserve, but escaped using teamwork even though we did not get along.
I think the hawk dream manifested from my recent exposure to the book "Hawk, I'm Your Brother". Link:
http://www.amazon.com/Hawk-Your-Brother-Byrd-Baylor/dp/0689711026
And the first dream had no basis in anything whatsoever. Really. I didn't even know you could fall asleep in a dream.
Not too long after that, I had another dream that I had the spirit of a hawk in me. I (and other birdlike people) were trapped together in a sort of nature preserve, but escaped using teamwork even though we did not get along.
I think the hawk dream manifested from my recent exposure to the book "Hawk, I'm Your Brother". Link:
http://www.amazon.com/Hawk-Your-Brother-Byrd-Baylor/dp/0689711026
And the first dream had no basis in anything whatsoever. Really. I didn't even know you could fall asleep in a dream.
Post Two
Today I will be running with my friend Stephen at Sunny Lake Park. Sunny Lake Park has a flat, paved trail which makes the lake easy to circumnavigate multiple times. It is home to the Great Blue heron, jumping fish, and creepy old men with walking sticks.
I made a list of things to do today. It looks like this:
1) Laundry/litter box (1st!)
2) Bathroom/surfaces/garbage
3) Vaccuum
4) Bananas/mail books (before breakfast) [here there was an arrow indicating these things should be further up the list]
5) Clean car
6) Run with Stephen @ 7!
I never cleaned my car because the person who e-mailed to say they were interested in it was really just interested in sending me a computer virus. Everything else, I have completed, except for running because it is only 3:30.
I made a list of things to do today. It looks like this:
1) Laundry/litter box (1st!)
2) Bathroom/surfaces/garbage
3) Vaccuum
4) Bananas/mail books (before breakfast) [here there was an arrow indicating these things should be further up the list]
5) Clean car
6) Run with Stephen @ 7!
I never cleaned my car because the person who e-mailed to say they were interested in it was really just interested in sending me a computer virus. Everything else, I have completed, except for running because it is only 3:30.
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