It's a Wonderful Life

Some days you feel so good, you get into this state, this zone, where you’re just at peace with the world and your place in it. There’s usually some reason for it, so let me try and pinpoint exactly when it happened for me this last Friday…

Friday, December 10th: This morning I woke up admittedly crabby. Jana and I had not parted on a good note the night before; I’d been up all night, dry-mouthed, unable to breathe properly because of a cold; and I had four sets of experiments to attend in an attempt to squeeze in as many EPR credits as I could in one day, though I thought it would be a big waste of time, mostly because I wanted to work on my essays—get ‘em out of the way before I go to Germany…

But things don’t often work out the way you expect them to, and looking back on it now, I’m glad I got a break from my own research, after tirelessly preparing for those presentations for the past 10 days or so… and I actually enjoyed many of the studies I participated in today. One study had me pretending to be a used phone salesman, and I was asked to “research” the value of different cell phones before advising “clients” on which one to buy. I was allowed to deceive the clients about my confidence in my choices, to increase the chance that they would pick my phones. If “clients” end up going with my prices, I may actually win some real money.

Another study had me doing a reaction time test that apparently was supposed to correlate with my math skills—I had to take a very simple oral math test as well, and I’m sure I performed laughably… hopefully that’s good for the study, though.

But my favorite study of the day was very clever, and I fell right into the experimenter’s trap. It started out with unscrambling lists of anagrams (something I consider myself to be relatively good at), and as I was jotting down each real world next to the jumble, the experimenter commented, “You’re completing these much faster than most of the other participants,” which undoubtedly boosted my confidence. So when the experimenter stopped me in the middle to take a questionnaire, I answered positively to such statements as I enjoy this experiment, and I am good at this task, etc. Then, when she asked if I would like more challenging anagrams, I most happily answered, “Yes.” Of course, I received a surprise when I read the debriefing form after the task and on it was written, Some of you may have been told you were faster than others on the task. I had to laugh at this and ask accusingly if I really was any faster than anyone else, and the experimenter told me unabashedly, “No.” Well, she had me fooled, and I know I must have done everything she’d expected of me because of it. Well researcher, I hope your study goes as planned, and good luck on future projects.

Later, I was walking home from the grocery store, when this feeling came over me—with my heavy bags cutting out the circulation in my fingers and my hair falling annoyingly over my eyes, a feeling of “dusk excitement” overcame me. I bet you’ve experienced it, yourself; it usually occurs on cool summer nights-- it wasn’t summery tonight by any means, but it was warmer than it’s been all week—and I felt that cool-not-cold breeze of nighttime energy flow through me and I knew I just had to run right then. I hurried home and changed into my running clothes and without so much as a warm-up, I was off, sprinting gaily into the night, lungs full of the crisp, clean air left behind from a mild winter’s day.

I always get into a certain state when I run. It seems so much harder to have unpleasant thoughts, it’s so much easier to feel inspired, giddy, emotional, but in a positive way. I suddenly become a more open and friendly person, nothing bothers or fazes me, and for a little while I am perfectly Tao.

This time though, the feeling stayed with me all the rest of the night. The “dusk excitement” hovered around me as if the very atmosphere was clinging to me, refilling my lungs with its clear, cool magic. I felt life could not be better tonight—there is no inner turmoil, no nagging feelings, no worry about schoolwork or the future. For now I am blissfully at peace with the world, and I hope all the rest of life is like this.

This evening I cooked Jana and myself some stir fry and we watched the first half of It’s a Wonderful Life (how fitting) before her internet stopped working. This was the first time I’d seen the movie, and it stopped right after George ran his car into his neighbor’s tree, about the stumble onto the bridge where he would have his confrontation with Clarence—the climax of the film, if you will, and thanks to Jana’s internet, George’s life will remain frozen in its disaster state until we can see the resolution tomorrow.

I realized, though, how amazing this movie is—I can see why it is a classic. It makes you think about the important things in life, like any good story can do. It fit in so well with the rest of the evening, and as I was walking home from Jana’s place, I was still in that dreamy state, living in the moment, feeling that life is good and happy. I hope tomorrow will present another Tao breeze, another spell of excitement weather!

Good night, every boday!