Hello everyone, or anyone who is still reading this,
I know it's been a long time since I've posted. I guess I've been busy! Since before my lasts posts (which don't really count, as they're rants), I have interviewed for a PhD position-- which I figure went OK but I learned my chances of getting the position are now 1/30. I do have a couple of backup plans. There's another Italian PhD program I applied for, and there's one in Scotland that the head of my course sent along to me, and I'm currently in the midst of applying (application due in July).
I've also been working on my thesis experiment-- got a ton of participants through the university-wide emailing list, and I'm optmistic my study will get some good power from all of them. I'm also 7000 words through the write-up-- I have most sections complete except for the discussion, which is partially finished. I also finished putting together my powerpoint for a talk I'm giving at the upcoming Experimental Psychological society conference. Haven't practiced it yet, but I got 3 weeks! I also also found a house to live in next month (closer to the psych building, too, which is a bonus!), learned more MATLAB (I'm getting pretty good at the basics), and have prepared for my Scotland hiking trip which sets off later this morning.
I figured, I'll try to get something written today, and then promise to write about my trip next week. I should have a lot to say about it! On Saturday, we're going to hike the tallest peak in the UK (which isn't saying much but it's still cool, as I've never hiked a real mountain before, small or otherwise), then Sunday and Monday we'll be on the Isle of Skye. Adventure awaits. I can feel it! The brisk morning air gives me the feeling it's very close.
Hmmm maybe I won't say much about what's been going on in my life recently. See, the only people who read this blog are people I do actually talk to on occassion, and I'd like something to say other than "Did you read that in my blog?" for a change. See, it works both ways, dear friends and family. Blogging makes you feel isolated in the big wide web if there's no communication. So we'll leave it at that! Now you know if you (or I) ever call, we'll have a lot to talk about-- and none of this "Oh, nothing much has been going on" from your end! Something's been happening! I'm feeling nostalgic for Ohio so even something as mundane as shopping or chilling is of interest. And of course, whenever people get together for conversation, it becomes that much more interesting.
Interaction! That's what I crave this early in the morning.
Right now I'm washing my bedding (it's been a while cos I haven't gone away for more than a day to give my sheets a chance to dry in the open air, cos I don't have a dryer), and I turned the heat on with my clothes over the radiator to try to finish drying some things I washed two days ago (which are still damp) to bring them with me to Scotland.
I am waiting for the grocery store to open. I don't think it does until 7AM. Need to buy a couple of bananas for the road. Although this upcoming trip was very cheap (80 pounds for 4 days/5 nights) and MOSTLY inclusive (transportation, breakfast, hostels, dinner one night), I am still required to provide my own lunch and dinner on most days. Not that bananas will hold me over, but I'm trying to pack light.
I figure I'll buy sandwiches/eat out when I can-- it's just easier since we're restricted on the luggage and I don't want half of mine to be food. Besides, pub dinners are great. They provide the ultimate post-hike comfort food! They're one thing I really love about England, especially the English countryside. No matter how small the village, no matter how expansive the wilderness, you know there's always a pub closeby serving chips and soup and dinner pies.
Mmm! And on that note, I'm going to go have some breakfast.
I'll be back Tuesday night!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Who even knew that Han shot first?
Okay, this rant has been coming for a long time, and I just saw the DVD version of the first Star Wars episode the other day so all the content is fresh in my mind. Now, there are a couple of things I would like to say about this movie...
First of all, let's get all this "Han shot first" business out of the way. So I see college kids running around in their "Han shot first" t-shirts, and I've had discussions with more than one Star Wars nerd about all this hoo-hah. So apparently, in the original version of Star Wars, Han Solo killed this little green man-- not in self-defense as it appears in the other films (when the green man shoots his weapon at him first)-- but as a badass who just wants to get a troublesome bounty hunter out of the picture (when Han shoots first). Er... right. Maybe people don't remember, but right before this little standoff takes place, the little green man makes it very clear that he intends to kill Han Solo. I think he says something along the lines of "I'm going to kill you now." Han was, in fact, provoked, and had reason to believe his life was in danger. Therefore, it doesn't matter if he shot first or second, you understand he intended to shoot regardless, to save his own skin.
But no, some people aren't satisfied. "He's still more of a badass if he shoots first," they say. "It's a matter of principle, Lucas shouldn't have messed with the shot." Granted, Lucas did make a lot of alterations to his earlier films. My biggest beef is with the CGI creatures in place of the puppets, which obviously took so much mroe work, and looked so much cooler than the computer-generated graphics. Which brings me to my next point...
I REMEMBER watching Star Wars with the puppet characters intact. It was part of my childhood. I've always had an appreciation for intricate puppetry, such as that created by Jim Henson. So I was upset to discover watching the DVD version that all those amazing creations were cut from the film. These people who go on about "Han shot first"-- most of you weren't even BORN when Han shot first. You probably watched the new version without even being aware of that little change. You still loved the movies. It didn't change your opinion of Han Solo, who is STILL a badass. You should have no personal grievance with the change. You only learned post-hoc, as the scientists say. It doesn't COUNT!
I also realized that everyone I talk to about this has the same arguments, almost the same problems with it, word for word. It seems to me that some old obnoxious geek who saw Star Wars in theaters and watched the old version of the movie on some video format before VHS so religiously, that when the special edition VHS did come out, he actually noticed the change. I can't imagine more than one lone obsessive psycho would have noticed... I seriously DOUBT IT. Then he got online and logged into some Star Wars fandom-based late-1990s chatroom forums and whined "BUT HAN SHOT FIRST IN THE ORIGINAL" and everyone else probably said ".......so?" and he whined some more "BUT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND...?" and then went on to point out all these meaningless things about it changing the character. Then everyone else probably said, "Hey!... You're right!... If I had known Han actually shot first, I would have thought he was so much MORE badass!" after which they'd go on to alter their memories and say "Wow, come to think of it, the movie is so dumb with that change. It's like everyone who's been criticizing me for liking a kids movie is right-- it is a kids movie if Han shot second! Wow, what I would give to see the original movie. I would love it SO much more I betcha cos it's for grown-ups and I'm a grown-up, and now I have an argument when normal people say 'But Stars Wars is for kids'. Nope! Only the newer versions are! I would have been an even MORE OBSESSIVE FAN of the original, just like this guy who pointed out the change in the first place."
After all that, you're not considered a REAL fan unless you agree. So the devoted fans have to prove their loyalty to the franchise and go about spewing their secondary source to whoever will listen. "Oh, Han shot first-- isn't that great? Isn't George Lucas LAME for editing that out?" I would like to point out to ALL of you that you did not learn this on your own. Someone else told you and convinced you of its importance. That is ALWAYS the case, because you can't GET the original version anymore! Form your own opinions people! Just because one psycho fan took it personally, doesn't mean you all have to, to prove your love for Star Wars! There are other ways to do this!
So yes, my final points are: 1) Han was shooting in self defense whether he shot first or not. 2) You are not fooling anyone- nobody thinks the problem you've made with the newer versions of the film is your own. You have taken somebody else's problem with it and adopted it as your own in an effort to prove your devotion/knowledge of the story.
Why isn't anybody miffed about the CGI characters? REALLY? They are a much bigger change to the movies, are much more obviously inserted, and they disregard the hard work of excellent puppet-makers. I'm still mad about CGI Yoda in episodes 1-3.
Oh my God... I just realized they may have turned Yoda to CGI in episode 5 as well! I'm going to have to google this and find out...
Okay good, they didn't replace Yoda puppet! GOOD. Because that would have sucked BALLS.
All right, my Han Solo rant is over. I have one more rant, so stay tuned.
First of all, let's get all this "Han shot first" business out of the way. So I see college kids running around in their "Han shot first" t-shirts, and I've had discussions with more than one Star Wars nerd about all this hoo-hah. So apparently, in the original version of Star Wars, Han Solo killed this little green man-- not in self-defense as it appears in the other films (when the green man shoots his weapon at him first)-- but as a badass who just wants to get a troublesome bounty hunter out of the picture (when Han shoots first). Er... right. Maybe people don't remember, but right before this little standoff takes place, the little green man makes it very clear that he intends to kill Han Solo. I think he says something along the lines of "I'm going to kill you now." Han was, in fact, provoked, and had reason to believe his life was in danger. Therefore, it doesn't matter if he shot first or second, you understand he intended to shoot regardless, to save his own skin.
But no, some people aren't satisfied. "He's still more of a badass if he shoots first," they say. "It's a matter of principle, Lucas shouldn't have messed with the shot." Granted, Lucas did make a lot of alterations to his earlier films. My biggest beef is with the CGI creatures in place of the puppets, which obviously took so much mroe work, and looked so much cooler than the computer-generated graphics. Which brings me to my next point...
I REMEMBER watching Star Wars with the puppet characters intact. It was part of my childhood. I've always had an appreciation for intricate puppetry, such as that created by Jim Henson. So I was upset to discover watching the DVD version that all those amazing creations were cut from the film. These people who go on about "Han shot first"-- most of you weren't even BORN when Han shot first. You probably watched the new version without even being aware of that little change. You still loved the movies. It didn't change your opinion of Han Solo, who is STILL a badass. You should have no personal grievance with the change. You only learned post-hoc, as the scientists say. It doesn't COUNT!
I also realized that everyone I talk to about this has the same arguments, almost the same problems with it, word for word. It seems to me that some old obnoxious geek who saw Star Wars in theaters and watched the old version of the movie on some video format before VHS so religiously, that when the special edition VHS did come out, he actually noticed the change. I can't imagine more than one lone obsessive psycho would have noticed... I seriously DOUBT IT. Then he got online and logged into some Star Wars fandom-based late-1990s chatroom forums and whined "BUT HAN SHOT FIRST IN THE ORIGINAL" and everyone else probably said ".......so?" and he whined some more "BUT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND...?" and then went on to point out all these meaningless things about it changing the character. Then everyone else probably said, "Hey!... You're right!... If I had known Han actually shot first, I would have thought he was so much MORE badass!" after which they'd go on to alter their memories and say "Wow, come to think of it, the movie is so dumb with that change. It's like everyone who's been criticizing me for liking a kids movie is right-- it is a kids movie if Han shot second! Wow, what I would give to see the original movie. I would love it SO much more I betcha cos it's for grown-ups and I'm a grown-up, and now I have an argument when normal people say 'But Stars Wars is for kids'. Nope! Only the newer versions are! I would have been an even MORE OBSESSIVE FAN of the original, just like this guy who pointed out the change in the first place."
After all that, you're not considered a REAL fan unless you agree. So the devoted fans have to prove their loyalty to the franchise and go about spewing their secondary source to whoever will listen. "Oh, Han shot first-- isn't that great? Isn't George Lucas LAME for editing that out?" I would like to point out to ALL of you that you did not learn this on your own. Someone else told you and convinced you of its importance. That is ALWAYS the case, because you can't GET the original version anymore! Form your own opinions people! Just because one psycho fan took it personally, doesn't mean you all have to, to prove your love for Star Wars! There are other ways to do this!
So yes, my final points are: 1) Han was shooting in self defense whether he shot first or not. 2) You are not fooling anyone- nobody thinks the problem you've made with the newer versions of the film is your own. You have taken somebody else's problem with it and adopted it as your own in an effort to prove your devotion/knowledge of the story.
Why isn't anybody miffed about the CGI characters? REALLY? They are a much bigger change to the movies, are much more obviously inserted, and they disregard the hard work of excellent puppet-makers. I'm still mad about CGI Yoda in episodes 1-3.
Oh my God... I just realized they may have turned Yoda to CGI in episode 5 as well! I'm going to have to google this and find out...
Okay good, they didn't replace Yoda puppet! GOOD. Because that would have sucked BALLS.
All right, my Han Solo rant is over. I have one more rant, so stay tuned.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Finally!
Blogger has punished me because I wasn't updating frequently enough! But now it's back on line!
Actually, apparently it was a problem with internet explorer 9. If you've downloaded it, you won't be able to publish blogger posts without tinkering with some things. If you hit the tool button in the top right of the screen (the gear), click F12 developer tools, then make Browser Mode "IE9 compatability mode" and voila. I'm not really that high tech to have figured it out myself, I learned it from google.
Thanks google, you are my friend.
Well, let's see now... what have I been up to? Well, still running 3 hours a week, 1 hr MWF, which means today is my running day... I do hope it stops raining before noon-ish, but otherwise I will have to just go in my stupid rain jacket which bounces around all uncomfortably and makes an irritating noise when it swishes against itself while I run.
I've written another few hundred words to my thesis. It's at 6600 words now, and I've got the intro and methods rough drafts complete. I've also been working on my powerpoint for EPS in July, and I've got a basic skeleton for that... will work on it later today though cos I've been neglecting it. I have a meeting with my adviser on Thursday, so I want something good to show him by then. Tomorrow I have my last participant for exp.2 coming in, so we can finally analyze the finished data. I still need a couple of people for exp.1 though, so hopefully I can pick up a few sometime soon...
As for learning MATLAB, it's going slow... they're trying to get psychtoolbox installed on a PC in an accessible cubicle for me, so I don't have to go around asking people to unlock lab doors like an untrustworthy 3 year old. I seriously don't have any privelages as a masters student. No departmental funds for conferences, no keys, no MATLAB. I'm surprised my badge scans to get me through the MSB security gate (it didn't at first). What a crappy set up. I'm paying so much for this damn degree and I'm considered the "one-year temporary student" that no one bothers with and will forget quickly.
OK, rant over. Something else I've been doing is researching high-frequency questions students are asked during PhD interviews, because I have one on Friday! The Sapienza interview is going to be at 1:30 on Skype, and hopefully I will be able to get a quiet room in the library to do it. I can't imagine my bedroom would be very professionally pleasing to potential advisers. Anyway, I've jotted down some answers to the hardest questions they might ask, and I will probably do what I've done before-- tape my prepared answers to the edges of my computer! I can read right off them if I get nervous enough, and it still looks like I'm gazing into the camera.
Actually, I shouldn't get too nervous this time because I have beta blockers to help me! I'm getting a little anxious right now thinking about my upcoming interview, but hopefully propranolol should do the trick in keeping me collected.
In other news, I've just been enjoying a leisurely weekend... watching Muppet Christmas Carol (which makes me yearn for Christmas-time), reading "Disney's America" (the only recreational reading I have right now, borrowed from Jana who's doing her thesis on Disney art), and generally getting reading for a busy day tomorrow. I have a meeting with a lecturer at 10AM concerning another PhD application (I have to write a proposal for that one too), and I'm running my last subject at 11:30. Then, I suppose, I will try to be a good little student and finally play with the MATLAB problems my adviser sent me for practice.
Then Wednesday will be spent writing more thesis and especially fleshing out my powerpoint, in prep. for my meeting w adviser on Thurs. Then, before and after my meeting on Thurs, I will practice interviewing strategies for Friday's big Skype call... On Friday morning before the interview, I will be in lab getting the eyetracker working with MATLAB.
Oy, I hope it all works out!
Beta blockers, do me good!
Actually, apparently it was a problem with internet explorer 9. If you've downloaded it, you won't be able to publish blogger posts without tinkering with some things. If you hit the tool button in the top right of the screen (the gear), click F12 developer tools, then make Browser Mode "IE9 compatability mode" and voila. I'm not really that high tech to have figured it out myself, I learned it from google.
Thanks google, you are my friend.
Well, let's see now... what have I been up to? Well, still running 3 hours a week, 1 hr MWF, which means today is my running day... I do hope it stops raining before noon-ish, but otherwise I will have to just go in my stupid rain jacket which bounces around all uncomfortably and makes an irritating noise when it swishes against itself while I run.
I've written another few hundred words to my thesis. It's at 6600 words now, and I've got the intro and methods rough drafts complete. I've also been working on my powerpoint for EPS in July, and I've got a basic skeleton for that... will work on it later today though cos I've been neglecting it. I have a meeting with my adviser on Thursday, so I want something good to show him by then. Tomorrow I have my last participant for exp.2 coming in, so we can finally analyze the finished data. I still need a couple of people for exp.1 though, so hopefully I can pick up a few sometime soon...
As for learning MATLAB, it's going slow... they're trying to get psychtoolbox installed on a PC in an accessible cubicle for me, so I don't have to go around asking people to unlock lab doors like an untrustworthy 3 year old. I seriously don't have any privelages as a masters student. No departmental funds for conferences, no keys, no MATLAB. I'm surprised my badge scans to get me through the MSB security gate (it didn't at first). What a crappy set up. I'm paying so much for this damn degree and I'm considered the "one-year temporary student" that no one bothers with and will forget quickly.
OK, rant over. Something else I've been doing is researching high-frequency questions students are asked during PhD interviews, because I have one on Friday! The Sapienza interview is going to be at 1:30 on Skype, and hopefully I will be able to get a quiet room in the library to do it. I can't imagine my bedroom would be very professionally pleasing to potential advisers. Anyway, I've jotted down some answers to the hardest questions they might ask, and I will probably do what I've done before-- tape my prepared answers to the edges of my computer! I can read right off them if I get nervous enough, and it still looks like I'm gazing into the camera.
Actually, I shouldn't get too nervous this time because I have beta blockers to help me! I'm getting a little anxious right now thinking about my upcoming interview, but hopefully propranolol should do the trick in keeping me collected.
In other news, I've just been enjoying a leisurely weekend... watching Muppet Christmas Carol (which makes me yearn for Christmas-time), reading "Disney's America" (the only recreational reading I have right now, borrowed from Jana who's doing her thesis on Disney art), and generally getting reading for a busy day tomorrow. I have a meeting with a lecturer at 10AM concerning another PhD application (I have to write a proposal for that one too), and I'm running my last subject at 11:30. Then, I suppose, I will try to be a good little student and finally play with the MATLAB problems my adviser sent me for practice.
Then Wednesday will be spent writing more thesis and especially fleshing out my powerpoint, in prep. for my meeting w adviser on Thurs. Then, before and after my meeting on Thurs, I will practice interviewing strategies for Friday's big Skype call... On Friday morning before the interview, I will be in lab getting the eyetracker working with MATLAB.
Oy, I hope it all works out!
Beta blockers, do me good!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Did too! Did not! Did too! Did not! Did TOOOO! (2 day old post-- I finally figured out how to publish again!)
I've realized I will sometimes take a side I don't agree on just for the sake of argument. For example, I often take the side of the Christians in a religious debate, even though I'm an atheist. I feel like I should stand up for them since I know a thing or two about evangelism and creationism, and it really isn't a bad system. I just don't believe it. I feel like... if I don't stand up for them in this country of lost faith, who will?
But I also like to argue for less heroic reasons. Sometimes it seems that argument is the only way you'll hear what a person truly thinks about a subject, and I get kind of a rush throwing "what ifs" at them and see how they retaliate. See how much they know their stuff. And there's something about a debate that adds passion to a dull conversation.
I don't consider myself to be especially argumentative, I mean, not generally. Generally I try to be agreeable. But when a particularly interesting topic comes up, I like to fire away with the hard questions... really probe for information.
But I also like to argue for less heroic reasons. Sometimes it seems that argument is the only way you'll hear what a person truly thinks about a subject, and I get kind of a rush throwing "what ifs" at them and see how they retaliate. See how much they know their stuff. And there's something about a debate that adds passion to a dull conversation.
I don't consider myself to be especially argumentative, I mean, not generally. Generally I try to be agreeable. But when a particularly interesting topic comes up, I like to fire away with the hard questions... really probe for information.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Welp (3 day old post-- I finally figured out how to publish again!)
Welp, can't do it... I decided I'd eat a chicken sandwich for lunch today, got to the restaurant, and thought the veggie one looked more appetizing. Went to the grocery store intending to buy meat products, and bought ingredients to make bean burritos for a week of dinners.
Oh well! Guess it's just not my time!
Oh well! Guess it's just not my time!
Hunger!
What I feel, and also the name of the second book in a YA series I'm going to buy sometime. Why did I agree to meet my adviser's PhD student at 12 noon? I had no choice but to eat an early lunch and now I'm hungry again... nowhere near dinner time...
I'm supposed to be working on MATLAB now but I don't feel like it... my brain's not on it today. I dragged myself through one chapter (chapter 7-- halfway through!) but the solutions to the problems in the back cut off at the second question and there were 5, and what's the use in doing them if you don't know whether you're right or not... And from my limited skills, it's more likely that I'm not going to be right, although I did a pretty good job of solving question one by myself... sometimes there's a lot of code they ask you to type out, and I'm so lazy I don't want to go through all that for one question.
I met the PhD student so I could solve the MATLAB problems my adviser gave to me, but the code calls functions from something called 'psychtoolbox' which uses shortcut code to bring up a video screen or whatnot, and the school computers don't have psychtoolbox downloaded on them.
Woooow I'm even boring myself with this post...
So my accomplishments so far today? Sent the intro to my thesis to my adviser for editing, got my adviser's PhD student to agree to participate in my study and one more person lined up to participate on Monday, got a technician lined up to download psychtoolbox on a school computer, filled a prescription, got through one more chapter of MATLAB for Behavioral Scientists... I'm so booooring.
OK but you know what isn't boring? Two things that happened this week: 1) Much Ado About Nothing at the Globe theatre in London, and 2) International Book Club.
1--> On tuesday, Jana, Hannah and I took a coach with Museum Studies to see us some Shakespeare at the famous Globe. We got the cheap student tickets (£5!) which allowed us to stand right next to the stage. Granted, after 3 hours of standing there I was getting pretty achy, but it was worth it since I was so close to the action I got shoved by the actors coming up and down the stairs a few times.
It was a really nice day... the Globe is right next to the Millennium Bridge that leads across the water to St Paul's. It's a really nice area with lots of restaurants around, and we went to this Greek place that served meze mostly. We each had souvlaki, which is a really yummy grilled flatbread wrap. Mine was made with halloumi, which tastes good enough but the texture (it squeaks against your teeth when you chew) is not something I care for. Jana and Hannah had chicken, and I was jealous.
I've been thinking about going back to meat. I know I've said this a few times before with no real conviction, but really... I have no reason to be a vegetarian, and I have no idea why I decided to just stop eating meat in the first place. Supposedly because I heard it was 'good for you' but a nutrition documentary I watched a few months ago said otherwise. But I don't cook... and it's just so much easier to stick grapes in my mouth than grill a chicken.
2---> Yesterday, Stephen, Laura and I had our first ever international book club meeting! We talked about The Knife of Never Letting Go and other YA novels, and then basically just chatted about life, all of us wishing, I'm sure, that we could be sitting around a table at Yours Truly eating sweet potato fries and tango sauce. I miss my book club.
Er... yeah... who am I kidding? I'm not doing any more work today... I'm gonna get out of this computer lab and wander around town, perhaps bug Jana.
Later!
I'm supposed to be working on MATLAB now but I don't feel like it... my brain's not on it today. I dragged myself through one chapter (chapter 7-- halfway through!) but the solutions to the problems in the back cut off at the second question and there were 5, and what's the use in doing them if you don't know whether you're right or not... And from my limited skills, it's more likely that I'm not going to be right, although I did a pretty good job of solving question one by myself... sometimes there's a lot of code they ask you to type out, and I'm so lazy I don't want to go through all that for one question.
I met the PhD student so I could solve the MATLAB problems my adviser gave to me, but the code calls functions from something called 'psychtoolbox' which uses shortcut code to bring up a video screen or whatnot, and the school computers don't have psychtoolbox downloaded on them.
Woooow I'm even boring myself with this post...
So my accomplishments so far today? Sent the intro to my thesis to my adviser for editing, got my adviser's PhD student to agree to participate in my study and one more person lined up to participate on Monday, got a technician lined up to download psychtoolbox on a school computer, filled a prescription, got through one more chapter of MATLAB for Behavioral Scientists... I'm so booooring.
OK but you know what isn't boring? Two things that happened this week: 1) Much Ado About Nothing at the Globe theatre in London, and 2) International Book Club.
1--> On tuesday, Jana, Hannah and I took a coach with Museum Studies to see us some Shakespeare at the famous Globe. We got the cheap student tickets (£5!) which allowed us to stand right next to the stage. Granted, after 3 hours of standing there I was getting pretty achy, but it was worth it since I was so close to the action I got shoved by the actors coming up and down the stairs a few times.
It was a really nice day... the Globe is right next to the Millennium Bridge that leads across the water to St Paul's. It's a really nice area with lots of restaurants around, and we went to this Greek place that served meze mostly. We each had souvlaki, which is a really yummy grilled flatbread wrap. Mine was made with halloumi, which tastes good enough but the texture (it squeaks against your teeth when you chew) is not something I care for. Jana and Hannah had chicken, and I was jealous.
I've been thinking about going back to meat. I know I've said this a few times before with no real conviction, but really... I have no reason to be a vegetarian, and I have no idea why I decided to just stop eating meat in the first place. Supposedly because I heard it was 'good for you' but a nutrition documentary I watched a few months ago said otherwise. But I don't cook... and it's just so much easier to stick grapes in my mouth than grill a chicken.
2---> Yesterday, Stephen, Laura and I had our first ever international book club meeting! We talked about The Knife of Never Letting Go and other YA novels, and then basically just chatted about life, all of us wishing, I'm sure, that we could be sitting around a table at Yours Truly eating sweet potato fries and tango sauce. I miss my book club.
Er... yeah... who am I kidding? I'm not doing any more work today... I'm gonna get out of this computer lab and wander around town, perhaps bug Jana.
Later!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday!
Okay, so I know I haven't updated in years... I haven't been THAT busy but things just happen to take up my time and the days are just flying by...
So I think you all already heard my plans to finish my degree early. Well, whether or not I come back to Ohio early (or at all) is still up for debate depending on a few things: 1) whether I get all my work done early, 2) whether I learn MATLAB fast enough, and 3) whether I get into that PhD program.
I'm finished with my application for the PhD program but waiting on a final opinion from the autism specialists who reviewed my project proposal before I send it in. I am really banking on getting this position, I just know it will be amazing. I'm getting to think point where I really do have to stop and think "Why am I doing what I'm doing?" and right now I don't have any good reason, just "Scientific curiosity." I feel like if I had a goal, such as "rehabilitation" or "education" I would be more inspired to do my work.
Yes, speaking of inspiration, I finally sat down and starting compiling information on Feature Integration Theory and Guided Search theory of visual search. I was a little burnt out about my thesis topic since I've been working on this 'visual search' thing going on 9 months now and it kind of turned into something I wasn't expecting, ie, very psychophysics-heavy and not really related to neuropsychology anymore.
BUT I found renewed energy to get writing when I realized the head of the PhD program I'm applying for did a very similar study about 10 years ago. So not only might we have something more to talk about during the interview (if he's still interested in this stuff), but it also seems to me to be a sign that I'm on the right track! Do I believe in signs? Not when it comes down to it, no. But the thought eases my mind. And now I know my project is relevant to the program in some way.
OK, so now I have all the info I need to write a basic background of FIT and guided search. My goal is to write at least 500 words on those theories and their evolution to today. Then I will go on to discuss dual-task paradigms of visual search, which include attentional blink paradigms, and finally, hemispheric asymmetries of attention. That will be the literature review for my thesis, and I will segue into my study after that.
The thesis will have to be 6-8000 words, and I have two months to complete it. That should roughly equate to 1000 words a week at least, to be on the safe side, then revisions and such. I can do it! I CAN!
Since my last post, I did all that other stuff I gotta do. I turned in my coursework for the final term, and completed that stats exam (which was completely ridiculous btw). Yes, there is another thing that I like more about the USA-- the proper course structure! The program I'm doing now is considered a "taught" course, though it's mostly research. But the classes we DID have were a complete joke. Stats classes were taught by a random group of lecturers, whoever happened to be there that day it seemed. They taught whatever random subject they knew, or really basic stuff. Actually, one professor tried to teach us something he didn't know, and ended up blundering through book definitions. The HOC tried to re-lecture on the same material, but he didn't know it either. So guess what shows up on the exam?
I swear to god, I hope these guys are the ones who mark it, so they won't know what the hell is right or wrong because I sure didn't at some points. But generally, with the limited information I was given and the large amount of information I was able to teach myself in the three hour exam period, I think I did relatively well.
Now I just have to concentate on getting the last few participants for my study and writing my thesis. I sent a message out to the hiking club begging for participants, and got one so far! So it's a good start. And tomorrow, I'm going to the doctor to see if I can get some beta blockers for my Sapienza interview in June and the EPS presentation in July. I'm gonna rock it.
AND I'm starting to learn MATLAB. I actually was able to create some working contingencies from the book problems! I am going to work on that more tomorrow between my doctor appt in the morning and my hiking club participant in the afternoon. Then, I will write some more of my thesis intro.
I'm a procrastinator, but I've got everything under control. I'm organized. I'm an organized lazy bum.
I realized though...
As much as I care about making my thesis amazing and getting into this PhD program in Rome, I don't have to stress about it. Whatever happens will happen. I will just try my hardest and see what that gets me. I realize that good things will happen one way or another. If I don't get this PhD program, I'll try to find a job teaching at a community college. I have other options.
I've realized... I don't really have to worry about anything... I used to worry about having to pay back my student loans, but not anymore. There are options that will make it possible. If I work in public service, I'll have them forgiven after 15 years of Income Based Repayment. I don't even need a lot of money. I can live off so little and still buy everything I need or want. I'm not worried about money...
Life is good! Even an academic can keep it simple!
So I think you all already heard my plans to finish my degree early. Well, whether or not I come back to Ohio early (or at all) is still up for debate depending on a few things: 1) whether I get all my work done early, 2) whether I learn MATLAB fast enough, and 3) whether I get into that PhD program.
I'm finished with my application for the PhD program but waiting on a final opinion from the autism specialists who reviewed my project proposal before I send it in. I am really banking on getting this position, I just know it will be amazing. I'm getting to think point where I really do have to stop and think "Why am I doing what I'm doing?" and right now I don't have any good reason, just "Scientific curiosity." I feel like if I had a goal, such as "rehabilitation" or "education" I would be more inspired to do my work.
Yes, speaking of inspiration, I finally sat down and starting compiling information on Feature Integration Theory and Guided Search theory of visual search. I was a little burnt out about my thesis topic since I've been working on this 'visual search' thing going on 9 months now and it kind of turned into something I wasn't expecting, ie, very psychophysics-heavy and not really related to neuropsychology anymore.
BUT I found renewed energy to get writing when I realized the head of the PhD program I'm applying for did a very similar study about 10 years ago. So not only might we have something more to talk about during the interview (if he's still interested in this stuff), but it also seems to me to be a sign that I'm on the right track! Do I believe in signs? Not when it comes down to it, no. But the thought eases my mind. And now I know my project is relevant to the program in some way.
OK, so now I have all the info I need to write a basic background of FIT and guided search. My goal is to write at least 500 words on those theories and their evolution to today. Then I will go on to discuss dual-task paradigms of visual search, which include attentional blink paradigms, and finally, hemispheric asymmetries of attention. That will be the literature review for my thesis, and I will segue into my study after that.
The thesis will have to be 6-8000 words, and I have two months to complete it. That should roughly equate to 1000 words a week at least, to be on the safe side, then revisions and such. I can do it! I CAN!
Since my last post, I did all that other stuff I gotta do. I turned in my coursework for the final term, and completed that stats exam (which was completely ridiculous btw). Yes, there is another thing that I like more about the USA-- the proper course structure! The program I'm doing now is considered a "taught" course, though it's mostly research. But the classes we DID have were a complete joke. Stats classes were taught by a random group of lecturers, whoever happened to be there that day it seemed. They taught whatever random subject they knew, or really basic stuff. Actually, one professor tried to teach us something he didn't know, and ended up blundering through book definitions. The HOC tried to re-lecture on the same material, but he didn't know it either. So guess what shows up on the exam?
I swear to god, I hope these guys are the ones who mark it, so they won't know what the hell is right or wrong because I sure didn't at some points. But generally, with the limited information I was given and the large amount of information I was able to teach myself in the three hour exam period, I think I did relatively well.
Now I just have to concentate on getting the last few participants for my study and writing my thesis. I sent a message out to the hiking club begging for participants, and got one so far! So it's a good start. And tomorrow, I'm going to the doctor to see if I can get some beta blockers for my Sapienza interview in June and the EPS presentation in July. I'm gonna rock it.
AND I'm starting to learn MATLAB. I actually was able to create some working contingencies from the book problems! I am going to work on that more tomorrow between my doctor appt in the morning and my hiking club participant in the afternoon. Then, I will write some more of my thesis intro.
I'm a procrastinator, but I've got everything under control. I'm organized. I'm an organized lazy bum.
I realized though...
As much as I care about making my thesis amazing and getting into this PhD program in Rome, I don't have to stress about it. Whatever happens will happen. I will just try my hardest and see what that gets me. I realize that good things will happen one way or another. If I don't get this PhD program, I'll try to find a job teaching at a community college. I have other options.
I've realized... I don't really have to worry about anything... I used to worry about having to pay back my student loans, but not anymore. There are options that will make it possible. If I work in public service, I'll have them forgiven after 15 years of Income Based Repayment. I don't even need a lot of money. I can live off so little and still buy everything I need or want. I'm not worried about money...
Life is good! Even an academic can keep it simple!
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