Blogger has punished me because I wasn't updating frequently enough! But now it's back on line!
Actually, apparently it was a problem with internet explorer 9. If you've downloaded it, you won't be able to publish blogger posts without tinkering with some things. If you hit the tool button in the top right of the screen (the gear), click F12 developer tools, then make Browser Mode "IE9 compatability mode" and voila. I'm not really that high tech to have figured it out myself, I learned it from google.
Thanks google, you are my friend.
Well, let's see now... what have I been up to? Well, still running 3 hours a week, 1 hr MWF, which means today is my running day... I do hope it stops raining before noon-ish, but otherwise I will have to just go in my stupid rain jacket which bounces around all uncomfortably and makes an irritating noise when it swishes against itself while I run.
I've written another few hundred words to my thesis. It's at 6600 words now, and I've got the intro and methods rough drafts complete. I've also been working on my powerpoint for EPS in July, and I've got a basic skeleton for that... will work on it later today though cos I've been neglecting it. I have a meeting with my adviser on Thursday, so I want something good to show him by then. Tomorrow I have my last participant for exp.2 coming in, so we can finally analyze the finished data. I still need a couple of people for exp.1 though, so hopefully I can pick up a few sometime soon...
As for learning MATLAB, it's going slow... they're trying to get psychtoolbox installed on a PC in an accessible cubicle for me, so I don't have to go around asking people to unlock lab doors like an untrustworthy 3 year old. I seriously don't have any privelages as a masters student. No departmental funds for conferences, no keys, no MATLAB. I'm surprised my badge scans to get me through the MSB security gate (it didn't at first). What a crappy set up. I'm paying so much for this damn degree and I'm considered the "one-year temporary student" that no one bothers with and will forget quickly.
OK, rant over. Something else I've been doing is researching high-frequency questions students are asked during PhD interviews, because I have one on Friday! The Sapienza interview is going to be at 1:30 on Skype, and hopefully I will be able to get a quiet room in the library to do it. I can't imagine my bedroom would be very professionally pleasing to potential advisers. Anyway, I've jotted down some answers to the hardest questions they might ask, and I will probably do what I've done before-- tape my prepared answers to the edges of my computer! I can read right off them if I get nervous enough, and it still looks like I'm gazing into the camera.
Actually, I shouldn't get too nervous this time because I have beta blockers to help me! I'm getting a little anxious right now thinking about my upcoming interview, but hopefully propranolol should do the trick in keeping me collected.
In other news, I've just been enjoying a leisurely weekend... watching Muppet Christmas Carol (which makes me yearn for Christmas-time), reading "Disney's America" (the only recreational reading I have right now, borrowed from Jana who's doing her thesis on Disney art), and generally getting reading for a busy day tomorrow. I have a meeting with a lecturer at 10AM concerning another PhD application (I have to write a proposal for that one too), and I'm running my last subject at 11:30. Then, I suppose, I will try to be a good little student and finally play with the MATLAB problems my adviser sent me for practice.
Then Wednesday will be spent writing more thesis and especially fleshing out my powerpoint, in prep. for my meeting w adviser on Thurs. Then, before and after my meeting on Thurs, I will practice interviewing strategies for Friday's big Skype call... On Friday morning before the interview, I will be in lab getting the eyetracker working with MATLAB.
Oy, I hope it all works out!
Beta blockers, do me good!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Did too! Did not! Did too! Did not! Did TOOOO! (2 day old post-- I finally figured out how to publish again!)
I've realized I will sometimes take a side I don't agree on just for the sake of argument. For example, I often take the side of the Christians in a religious debate, even though I'm an atheist. I feel like I should stand up for them since I know a thing or two about evangelism and creationism, and it really isn't a bad system. I just don't believe it. I feel like... if I don't stand up for them in this country of lost faith, who will?
But I also like to argue for less heroic reasons. Sometimes it seems that argument is the only way you'll hear what a person truly thinks about a subject, and I get kind of a rush throwing "what ifs" at them and see how they retaliate. See how much they know their stuff. And there's something about a debate that adds passion to a dull conversation.
I don't consider myself to be especially argumentative, I mean, not generally. Generally I try to be agreeable. But when a particularly interesting topic comes up, I like to fire away with the hard questions... really probe for information.
But I also like to argue for less heroic reasons. Sometimes it seems that argument is the only way you'll hear what a person truly thinks about a subject, and I get kind of a rush throwing "what ifs" at them and see how they retaliate. See how much they know their stuff. And there's something about a debate that adds passion to a dull conversation.
I don't consider myself to be especially argumentative, I mean, not generally. Generally I try to be agreeable. But when a particularly interesting topic comes up, I like to fire away with the hard questions... really probe for information.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Welp (3 day old post-- I finally figured out how to publish again!)
Welp, can't do it... I decided I'd eat a chicken sandwich for lunch today, got to the restaurant, and thought the veggie one looked more appetizing. Went to the grocery store intending to buy meat products, and bought ingredients to make bean burritos for a week of dinners.
Oh well! Guess it's just not my time!
Oh well! Guess it's just not my time!
Hunger!
What I feel, and also the name of the second book in a YA series I'm going to buy sometime. Why did I agree to meet my adviser's PhD student at 12 noon? I had no choice but to eat an early lunch and now I'm hungry again... nowhere near dinner time...
I'm supposed to be working on MATLAB now but I don't feel like it... my brain's not on it today. I dragged myself through one chapter (chapter 7-- halfway through!) but the solutions to the problems in the back cut off at the second question and there were 5, and what's the use in doing them if you don't know whether you're right or not... And from my limited skills, it's more likely that I'm not going to be right, although I did a pretty good job of solving question one by myself... sometimes there's a lot of code they ask you to type out, and I'm so lazy I don't want to go through all that for one question.
I met the PhD student so I could solve the MATLAB problems my adviser gave to me, but the code calls functions from something called 'psychtoolbox' which uses shortcut code to bring up a video screen or whatnot, and the school computers don't have psychtoolbox downloaded on them.
Woooow I'm even boring myself with this post...
So my accomplishments so far today? Sent the intro to my thesis to my adviser for editing, got my adviser's PhD student to agree to participate in my study and one more person lined up to participate on Monday, got a technician lined up to download psychtoolbox on a school computer, filled a prescription, got through one more chapter of MATLAB for Behavioral Scientists... I'm so booooring.
OK but you know what isn't boring? Two things that happened this week: 1) Much Ado About Nothing at the Globe theatre in London, and 2) International Book Club.
1--> On tuesday, Jana, Hannah and I took a coach with Museum Studies to see us some Shakespeare at the famous Globe. We got the cheap student tickets (£5!) which allowed us to stand right next to the stage. Granted, after 3 hours of standing there I was getting pretty achy, but it was worth it since I was so close to the action I got shoved by the actors coming up and down the stairs a few times.
It was a really nice day... the Globe is right next to the Millennium Bridge that leads across the water to St Paul's. It's a really nice area with lots of restaurants around, and we went to this Greek place that served meze mostly. We each had souvlaki, which is a really yummy grilled flatbread wrap. Mine was made with halloumi, which tastes good enough but the texture (it squeaks against your teeth when you chew) is not something I care for. Jana and Hannah had chicken, and I was jealous.
I've been thinking about going back to meat. I know I've said this a few times before with no real conviction, but really... I have no reason to be a vegetarian, and I have no idea why I decided to just stop eating meat in the first place. Supposedly because I heard it was 'good for you' but a nutrition documentary I watched a few months ago said otherwise. But I don't cook... and it's just so much easier to stick grapes in my mouth than grill a chicken.
2---> Yesterday, Stephen, Laura and I had our first ever international book club meeting! We talked about The Knife of Never Letting Go and other YA novels, and then basically just chatted about life, all of us wishing, I'm sure, that we could be sitting around a table at Yours Truly eating sweet potato fries and tango sauce. I miss my book club.
Er... yeah... who am I kidding? I'm not doing any more work today... I'm gonna get out of this computer lab and wander around town, perhaps bug Jana.
Later!
I'm supposed to be working on MATLAB now but I don't feel like it... my brain's not on it today. I dragged myself through one chapter (chapter 7-- halfway through!) but the solutions to the problems in the back cut off at the second question and there were 5, and what's the use in doing them if you don't know whether you're right or not... And from my limited skills, it's more likely that I'm not going to be right, although I did a pretty good job of solving question one by myself... sometimes there's a lot of code they ask you to type out, and I'm so lazy I don't want to go through all that for one question.
I met the PhD student so I could solve the MATLAB problems my adviser gave to me, but the code calls functions from something called 'psychtoolbox' which uses shortcut code to bring up a video screen or whatnot, and the school computers don't have psychtoolbox downloaded on them.
Woooow I'm even boring myself with this post...
So my accomplishments so far today? Sent the intro to my thesis to my adviser for editing, got my adviser's PhD student to agree to participate in my study and one more person lined up to participate on Monday, got a technician lined up to download psychtoolbox on a school computer, filled a prescription, got through one more chapter of MATLAB for Behavioral Scientists... I'm so booooring.
OK but you know what isn't boring? Two things that happened this week: 1) Much Ado About Nothing at the Globe theatre in London, and 2) International Book Club.
1--> On tuesday, Jana, Hannah and I took a coach with Museum Studies to see us some Shakespeare at the famous Globe. We got the cheap student tickets (£5!) which allowed us to stand right next to the stage. Granted, after 3 hours of standing there I was getting pretty achy, but it was worth it since I was so close to the action I got shoved by the actors coming up and down the stairs a few times.
It was a really nice day... the Globe is right next to the Millennium Bridge that leads across the water to St Paul's. It's a really nice area with lots of restaurants around, and we went to this Greek place that served meze mostly. We each had souvlaki, which is a really yummy grilled flatbread wrap. Mine was made with halloumi, which tastes good enough but the texture (it squeaks against your teeth when you chew) is not something I care for. Jana and Hannah had chicken, and I was jealous.
I've been thinking about going back to meat. I know I've said this a few times before with no real conviction, but really... I have no reason to be a vegetarian, and I have no idea why I decided to just stop eating meat in the first place. Supposedly because I heard it was 'good for you' but a nutrition documentary I watched a few months ago said otherwise. But I don't cook... and it's just so much easier to stick grapes in my mouth than grill a chicken.
2---> Yesterday, Stephen, Laura and I had our first ever international book club meeting! We talked about The Knife of Never Letting Go and other YA novels, and then basically just chatted about life, all of us wishing, I'm sure, that we could be sitting around a table at Yours Truly eating sweet potato fries and tango sauce. I miss my book club.
Er... yeah... who am I kidding? I'm not doing any more work today... I'm gonna get out of this computer lab and wander around town, perhaps bug Jana.
Later!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday!
Okay, so I know I haven't updated in years... I haven't been THAT busy but things just happen to take up my time and the days are just flying by...
So I think you all already heard my plans to finish my degree early. Well, whether or not I come back to Ohio early (or at all) is still up for debate depending on a few things: 1) whether I get all my work done early, 2) whether I learn MATLAB fast enough, and 3) whether I get into that PhD program.
I'm finished with my application for the PhD program but waiting on a final opinion from the autism specialists who reviewed my project proposal before I send it in. I am really banking on getting this position, I just know it will be amazing. I'm getting to think point where I really do have to stop and think "Why am I doing what I'm doing?" and right now I don't have any good reason, just "Scientific curiosity." I feel like if I had a goal, such as "rehabilitation" or "education" I would be more inspired to do my work.
Yes, speaking of inspiration, I finally sat down and starting compiling information on Feature Integration Theory and Guided Search theory of visual search. I was a little burnt out about my thesis topic since I've been working on this 'visual search' thing going on 9 months now and it kind of turned into something I wasn't expecting, ie, very psychophysics-heavy and not really related to neuropsychology anymore.
BUT I found renewed energy to get writing when I realized the head of the PhD program I'm applying for did a very similar study about 10 years ago. So not only might we have something more to talk about during the interview (if he's still interested in this stuff), but it also seems to me to be a sign that I'm on the right track! Do I believe in signs? Not when it comes down to it, no. But the thought eases my mind. And now I know my project is relevant to the program in some way.
OK, so now I have all the info I need to write a basic background of FIT and guided search. My goal is to write at least 500 words on those theories and their evolution to today. Then I will go on to discuss dual-task paradigms of visual search, which include attentional blink paradigms, and finally, hemispheric asymmetries of attention. That will be the literature review for my thesis, and I will segue into my study after that.
The thesis will have to be 6-8000 words, and I have two months to complete it. That should roughly equate to 1000 words a week at least, to be on the safe side, then revisions and such. I can do it! I CAN!
Since my last post, I did all that other stuff I gotta do. I turned in my coursework for the final term, and completed that stats exam (which was completely ridiculous btw). Yes, there is another thing that I like more about the USA-- the proper course structure! The program I'm doing now is considered a "taught" course, though it's mostly research. But the classes we DID have were a complete joke. Stats classes were taught by a random group of lecturers, whoever happened to be there that day it seemed. They taught whatever random subject they knew, or really basic stuff. Actually, one professor tried to teach us something he didn't know, and ended up blundering through book definitions. The HOC tried to re-lecture on the same material, but he didn't know it either. So guess what shows up on the exam?
I swear to god, I hope these guys are the ones who mark it, so they won't know what the hell is right or wrong because I sure didn't at some points. But generally, with the limited information I was given and the large amount of information I was able to teach myself in the three hour exam period, I think I did relatively well.
Now I just have to concentate on getting the last few participants for my study and writing my thesis. I sent a message out to the hiking club begging for participants, and got one so far! So it's a good start. And tomorrow, I'm going to the doctor to see if I can get some beta blockers for my Sapienza interview in June and the EPS presentation in July. I'm gonna rock it.
AND I'm starting to learn MATLAB. I actually was able to create some working contingencies from the book problems! I am going to work on that more tomorrow between my doctor appt in the morning and my hiking club participant in the afternoon. Then, I will write some more of my thesis intro.
I'm a procrastinator, but I've got everything under control. I'm organized. I'm an organized lazy bum.
I realized though...
As much as I care about making my thesis amazing and getting into this PhD program in Rome, I don't have to stress about it. Whatever happens will happen. I will just try my hardest and see what that gets me. I realize that good things will happen one way or another. If I don't get this PhD program, I'll try to find a job teaching at a community college. I have other options.
I've realized... I don't really have to worry about anything... I used to worry about having to pay back my student loans, but not anymore. There are options that will make it possible. If I work in public service, I'll have them forgiven after 15 years of Income Based Repayment. I don't even need a lot of money. I can live off so little and still buy everything I need or want. I'm not worried about money...
Life is good! Even an academic can keep it simple!
So I think you all already heard my plans to finish my degree early. Well, whether or not I come back to Ohio early (or at all) is still up for debate depending on a few things: 1) whether I get all my work done early, 2) whether I learn MATLAB fast enough, and 3) whether I get into that PhD program.
I'm finished with my application for the PhD program but waiting on a final opinion from the autism specialists who reviewed my project proposal before I send it in. I am really banking on getting this position, I just know it will be amazing. I'm getting to think point where I really do have to stop and think "Why am I doing what I'm doing?" and right now I don't have any good reason, just "Scientific curiosity." I feel like if I had a goal, such as "rehabilitation" or "education" I would be more inspired to do my work.
Yes, speaking of inspiration, I finally sat down and starting compiling information on Feature Integration Theory and Guided Search theory of visual search. I was a little burnt out about my thesis topic since I've been working on this 'visual search' thing going on 9 months now and it kind of turned into something I wasn't expecting, ie, very psychophysics-heavy and not really related to neuropsychology anymore.
BUT I found renewed energy to get writing when I realized the head of the PhD program I'm applying for did a very similar study about 10 years ago. So not only might we have something more to talk about during the interview (if he's still interested in this stuff), but it also seems to me to be a sign that I'm on the right track! Do I believe in signs? Not when it comes down to it, no. But the thought eases my mind. And now I know my project is relevant to the program in some way.
OK, so now I have all the info I need to write a basic background of FIT and guided search. My goal is to write at least 500 words on those theories and their evolution to today. Then I will go on to discuss dual-task paradigms of visual search, which include attentional blink paradigms, and finally, hemispheric asymmetries of attention. That will be the literature review for my thesis, and I will segue into my study after that.
The thesis will have to be 6-8000 words, and I have two months to complete it. That should roughly equate to 1000 words a week at least, to be on the safe side, then revisions and such. I can do it! I CAN!
Since my last post, I did all that other stuff I gotta do. I turned in my coursework for the final term, and completed that stats exam (which was completely ridiculous btw). Yes, there is another thing that I like more about the USA-- the proper course structure! The program I'm doing now is considered a "taught" course, though it's mostly research. But the classes we DID have were a complete joke. Stats classes were taught by a random group of lecturers, whoever happened to be there that day it seemed. They taught whatever random subject they knew, or really basic stuff. Actually, one professor tried to teach us something he didn't know, and ended up blundering through book definitions. The HOC tried to re-lecture on the same material, but he didn't know it either. So guess what shows up on the exam?
I swear to god, I hope these guys are the ones who mark it, so they won't know what the hell is right or wrong because I sure didn't at some points. But generally, with the limited information I was given and the large amount of information I was able to teach myself in the three hour exam period, I think I did relatively well.
Now I just have to concentate on getting the last few participants for my study and writing my thesis. I sent a message out to the hiking club begging for participants, and got one so far! So it's a good start. And tomorrow, I'm going to the doctor to see if I can get some beta blockers for my Sapienza interview in June and the EPS presentation in July. I'm gonna rock it.
AND I'm starting to learn MATLAB. I actually was able to create some working contingencies from the book problems! I am going to work on that more tomorrow between my doctor appt in the morning and my hiking club participant in the afternoon. Then, I will write some more of my thesis intro.
I'm a procrastinator, but I've got everything under control. I'm organized. I'm an organized lazy bum.
I realized though...
As much as I care about making my thesis amazing and getting into this PhD program in Rome, I don't have to stress about it. Whatever happens will happen. I will just try my hardest and see what that gets me. I realize that good things will happen one way or another. If I don't get this PhD program, I'll try to find a job teaching at a community college. I have other options.
I've realized... I don't really have to worry about anything... I used to worry about having to pay back my student loans, but not anymore. There are options that will make it possible. If I work in public service, I'll have them forgiven after 15 years of Income Based Repayment. I don't even need a lot of money. I can live off so little and still buy everything I need or want. I'm not worried about money...
Life is good! Even an academic can keep it simple!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Short Post
Hello everyone,
I know it's been a while, but I've been busy-- still busy, in fact-- just updating to say that Jana and I have switched our phones because hers was not working on her computer. So if anyone wants to call me, My phone number is 330-548-2571. So there is just a 1 at the end instead of a 3.
All righty-- I'll post a real entry sometime later!
I know it's been a while, but I've been busy-- still busy, in fact-- just updating to say that Jana and I have switched our phones because hers was not working on her computer. So if anyone wants to call me, My phone number is 330-548-2571. So there is just a 1 at the end instead of a 3.
All righty-- I'll post a real entry sometime later!
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